"The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in this country is closely connected with this." -Albert Einstein, My First Impression of the U.S.A.

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one."       -- George Bernard Shaw

"I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts."  -- John Entwistle

Ruth and Johnny, side by side,
Went out for an auto ride.
They hit a bump, Ruth hit a tree,
And John kept going ruthlessly.

"They're not people, they're hippies!"
-Eric Cartman

Two atoms walk into a bar.  One says, "Dammit, I've lost an electron."
"Are you sure?" the other one asks.
"Yeah," says the first, "I'm positive."


"Leave us. The dog eats strangers..."
-Shadow

"All females is poison! They're full of wicked wiles!"
-Grumpy, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

"Can the Senator cite one case in which a killer committed still another murder after he was executed?"
-Robert Heinlein, I Will Fear No Evil

"He smiled at his own wit.  The old bastard always had thought he was a wit.  He was half right."
-Robert Heinlein, Glory Road

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."
-Robert Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Q: What do an apple and a black man have in common?
A: They both hang from trees!

"You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once."
-Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love

"How marriage ruins a man!  It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive."
-- Oscar Wilde

"Everybody knows that the dumbest people in any American university are in the education department, and English after that."
-Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday

"I am a man of few words, and a thousand obscene gestures."

merkin: a hairpiece for the pubic region, was used in the old days to hide syphilis symptoms such as lesions and sores

Remember, capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Craig:  "Who is this teacher, so I don't get her?"
Chris:  "Cronin.  She is the worst teacher I've ever had, and that's counting LeBlanc."

"I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question."
-Spock, "This Side of Paradise"

" I'm single! I love being single! I haven't had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!"
-Frank Drebin, The Naked Gun 2 1/2

 The salt sea was frozen on her breast,
 The salt tears in her eyes;
 And he saw her hair, like the brown sea-weed,
 On the billows fall and rise.
-Henry Longfellow, The Wreck of the Hesperus



OlentangySunset: It's like Final Destination: The Presidential Edition

"They'll fix you.  They fix everything."
-Robocop